The Uncommon Life

Common: Passionate ignorance disguised as commitment

Uncommon: After centuries of use, someone thought it necessary to improve upon the cannon. While still effective, there was a problem. Once in flight, the cannonball could not be intentionally stopped or redirected.

Then came the smart missile… it could adjust to conditions, respond to new information, and yes, could even abort the mission altogether. Given the two options, the logical strategy is that of the smart missile.

But this is not the approach many people choose when creating their lives. They take the form of the cannonball, relying on established mass, momentum, and brute force to take them to their destination. The cannonball can plow through many barriers with impressive resolve. This is very similar to the ‘whatever it takes’ method – a display of dogged tenacity towards a predetermined target.

But in life, our targets (end goals) rarely sit in one place waiting to connect with a unidirectional object (you, the pursuer).

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Common: Blaming poor results on a lack of innate talent.

Uncommon: Talent is overrated. It’s actually quite a useless metric to measure or predict much of anything.

There, I said it.

It seems that people who are unhappy with what they have accomplished over the course of 5, 10 or more years almost always make statements that suggest a lack of natural ability. They often conclude that they don’t “have what it takes.”  It’s the classic case of focusing on differentiating factors of successful people rather than the similarities.

The reality is, we all ‘have’ an equal amount of what really matters: time. And time is opportunity – hands down the greatest asset we have. Time really is the great equalizer. More than anything else, it’s how we use our minutes that determines the quality of our lives.

Successful individuals realize that time is more valuable than skill, money, and almost any other resource because with enough time, you can hone skills, raise capital, nurture relationships, and summon what is required for an exceptional life.

“Ok,” you ask, ”but is it really important to obsess about the seconds and minutes of our day?” Rather than give my opinion, I’ll let you make the call. Here’s how the details add up…

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Common: Fear of the worst-case scenario leading to inaction.

Uncommon: Halloween is an event of intrigue. A brief look into its history reveals many mysteries and myths. One such legend got me thinking…

It’s said that come the end of harvest season, as they prepared for the coming winter and the potential wrath it could bolster, some European communities dressed in intimidating garb and pranced through the night to cast away sinister spirits from their villages. It was a scarecrow communion of the spirit world.

Read into this objectively and you’ll see that these farmers and villagers were fighting off fear with fear.  It’s an interesting strategy, primarily because it’s contrary to many modern methods used to address fear.

“Focus on your strengths, your victories, and your support group to build your self-esteem,” we’re told. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”  This advice does have merit, but it often overshadows an equally effective strategy. Let me explain…

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Common: Asking numerous ‘how’ questions (How can I get better grades? How can I make my résumé look better? How can I earn more money?) without first answering ‘why.’

The following is a guest post from a fellow member of the TUL tribe from the beautiful country of Singapore. He’s got some intriguing ideas to share. So with no more further ado, let’s welcome Daniel Wong.

Uncommon: We all feel proud when we achieve something remarkable. Without a doubt, asking ‘how’ to get a specific result enables us to accomplish more, and to ‘climb the ladder’ more efficiently. This question of ‘how’ helps us think about ways to overcome obstacles and attain our goals – this is all fair and good.

But in order to lead an uncommon life, ‘why’ should always precede ‘how.’ Why is this goal so important? Why did you feel motivated to set this goal in the first place?

Asking ‘why’ before asking ‘how’ ensures that the ladder (the direction you’re travelling in) is leaning against the right wall before you myopically start mounting the summit. Few things are more upsetting than being dissatisfied about the view from the ‘top.’

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Common: Failing to see how unusual activities can offer life-changing insights.

Uncommon: Those who know me are fully aware that surfing is my favorite hobby, but I’ve developed a new appreciation for it. While reading, research, and writing always serve as important sources of information and inspiration, sometimes life has other more “uncommon” ways of offering powerful insights.

Over the past decade as I’ve chased great waves around the globe, I’ve caught myself countless times saying, “Hmm… that’s a great metaphor for life.” So I’ve taken a few days to tally these uncommon lessons to share them with you. Here are the top 15…

1. Getting out there is the hardest part. There are always a million reasons not to do something. These justifications of inaction are very easy to find – especially when the conditions are not immediately inviting. The reality is, there are always hassle factors and rewards involved in every pursuit. It’s all a matter of what to focus on. In many cases, the hardest jam to push through is the jam framing your front door. Once in motion, however, regret rarely follows. This can’t be said for inaction.

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Common: Feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed while trying to win the generic ‘game of life.’

Uncommon: “I appreciate the message you share on your blog Kent,” said Maria in a kind, but uneasy tone, “but what if some people just aren’t cut out for an uncommon life?”

“What do you mean?” I asked digging for specifics.

“Well, the idea of leading an exceptional life is exciting, but it’s also really demanding—and maybe for some, reaching the top tier in certain areas is simply out of their skill set or social caste. Being part of the artist elite or business elite or any elite is tough—that’s why it’s such a small segment of society.”

Maria raised an interesting point, but there was more to it. A few more exchanges made something very clear… she was rationalizing an inner sense of overwhelm, self-doubt, and boredom.

I discovered that she felt living an ‘uncommon life’ was both daunting and senseless. And Maria was definitely not alone in her thinking.

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Common: Waiting on research, facts, and expertise to improve one’s life or solve problems best addressed through experimentation.

Uncommon: We live in the age of experts, consultants, and politicians—people who stake their livelihood on delivering the ‘right’ answer.  In theory, this works well. In reality, we end up repeating past results, stifling innovation, and curbing our own curiosity and ability.

It’s far too easy (and common) to turn to—and often rely on—these authority figures for advice, feedback, and solutions to important life issues.  The problem, as Tim Harford does an excellent job explaining in this TED video, begins with the assumptions behind our inclinations to turn to ‘the experts.’ In doing so, for example we assume:

• Their answers are “right”
• Their answers are “best”
• They are the most qualified people to engage with the issues
• If they cannot come up with a solution, there isn’t one to be found

But an impressive title—and even years of experience in a given field—does not guarantee the best result.  In contrast to what we’re taught in school, there are often multiple answers—and many paths that lead to those answers. In fact, sometimes the best way to allow for a great leap forward is by unlearning the existing theories and beliefs surrounding the topic or issue.

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Common: Underestimating the impact of communication, community, and creativity in the digital age.

Uncommon: From part 1: “Many changes today are creating completely new social and interpersonal consequences and some are merely amplifying age-old tenets of success.  What is most often overlooked, however, is where the new and the old collide. Amidst the change, I see three timeless principles increasing in importance and impacting our personal and professional lives in new ways. I call these factors the 3 C’s of modern currency.”

Here is the third factor in the 3-part series…

#3 – Collaboration

We live in a global village—a place whereby people can connect, share, and influence each other in ways never thought possible. And it’s those who most effectively engage with one another who will enjoy the personal and professional benefits.

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Common: Underestimating the impact of communication, community, and creativity in the digital age.

Uncommon: From part 1: “Many changes today are creating completely new social and interpersonal consequences and some are merely amplifying age-old tenets of success.  What is most often overlooked, however, is where the new and the old collide. Amidst the change, I see three timeless principles increasing in importance and impacting our personal and professional lives in new ways. I call these factors the 3 C’s of modern currency.”

Here is the second factor in the 3-part series…

#2 – Community

Those with large networks filled with passionate, supportive, smart, and influential people will always have the upper hand – in nearly every circumstance. Unfair? Maybe. Truthful? Yes.  Does this sound familiar? … “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” Some concepts only grow stronger with time.

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Common: Underestimating the impact of communication, community, and creativity in the digital age.

Uncommon: We all know this century has seen an immense amount of change in a very short period of time. Some of these changes are creating completely new social and interpersonal consequences and some are merely amplifying age-old tenets of success.  What is most often overlooked and underestimated, however, is where the new and the old collide.

Amidst all of the change, I continue to see three timeless principles increasing in importance and impacting our personal and professional lives in new ways. I call these factors the 3 C’s of modern currency.

Why “currency”?  Applied effectively, these skills will pay their weight in gold. It’s now time to rate yourself – each ‘C’ ends with some discerning questions. And if you believe these 3 C’s don’t impact you, ignore them at your own peril.

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Common: Assuming the common explanation is the best and only explanation.

Uncommon: As humans we desire closure. We long to know not only what has happened but why it has happened. Whether it’s gossip, a natural disaster, a freak incident, or a success story – we want the 411. We want to know how ‘it’ can be repeated or avoided.

… so we endeavor to explain it.

This seems simple enough. But that is the problem. It appears so simple to analyze the WHAT that we feel we can accurately explain the WHY – the reasons something has occurred. This is more dangerous than one might think.

By assuming we have ‘the’ answer or more accurately, a definitive explanation, we often do several things that change the course of future actions and future outcomes. We…

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Common: Believing that focusing on detail is the only and best path to success.

Uncommon: Let’s be honest: Most things studied in college are quickly forgotten.  I believe this is partly due to the sheer number of concepts addressed per class, per semester. In my experience, the emphasis is often on breadth versus depth. This poses a challenge to students studying for comprehensive tests.  I know; I’ve been there many times.

But I didn’t have the “luxury” of making the library my second home to spend hours on rote memorization. My time was very limited and so I sought ways to perform better by doing less. In the process, I made a simple, yet liberating, observation.  And whether you’re a student or not, I have found this concept critical for success in life.

The eclipsing effect of detail:

Traditional college advice places an extremely high level of importance on detail, but this train of thought can be a hindrance, at times resulting in increased stress and workload. Why?

An extreme focus on detail limits one’s ability to grasp the larger picture, which is critical to knowing what details to focus on. When you’re very close to every concept, everything appears important.

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